Guest Blogger: Allison Barnhill | Five “Rules” for Invitations

Five “Rules” for Invitations

Hello! My name is Allison and I’m the owner of Allison Barnhill Designs, a design studio based in Annapolis, Maryland, that specializes in custom wedding stationery. When I sit down with a new client at our design meeting, I share a few interesting etiquette details and they always seem to be a surprise.  Honestly, I typically preface these details with the words, “90% of the population probably has no clue, but…”  So, I thought today it would be fun to share a few of those rules you may not know.

1. You should not include registry information on your wedding invitation.  This information should only be provided via word of mouth from parents and wedding party to other guests.  In this day and age, any guest can Google your names and find your registry pretty easily.  Don’t worry…you might still get an ugly chicken sugar bowl as a gift, but putting the registry info on the invitation might not have kept that from happening!

2. If you are getting married in a church, use the wording “request the honor of your presence”.  If you are getting married in a non-church venue (hotel, inn, park, etc.), use the wording “request the pleasure of your company”.  I will say that this is definitely a rule that my clients break all the time.  And, honestly, I have no problem with it.  Choose the wording that fits your wedding and tastes best, but I still feel the need to share the rule! Oh, and a bonus tidbit, honor is the American spelling and honour is the British spelling of the same word. (Same goes with favor and favour.) Some people feel the British spelling makes the invitation more formal, but I always fall back to personal preference on this one.

3. If a guest is over 18, but living at home, they should get their own invitation.  I know, I know…I always hear about that family that has three cousins that are in college and still living at home and that means 4 invitations for one family.  Well, yes, it does.  Again, take the rule, break the rule…it’s up to you!

4. Who pays for the wedding is who invites to the wedding.  If the bride’s parents are paying then they are the ones inviting (Mr. & Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence…).  If the bride and groom’s parents are splitting costs equally, then they both invite. (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Frank Jones request the honor of your presence…).  If the couple, along with both sets of parents are paying, the they all invite. (Together with their parents, bride and groom, request the honor of your presence…)

5. Save the Dates should be mailed 6-8 months prior to the wedding. Invitations should be mailed 8 weeks before the wedding.  (Yes, only 8 weeks prior..you can push out to 12 weeks for a destination wedding.)  But, please, do not mail your invitations 4 months prior to the wedding. I know you are excited, but if you want people to respond on time and with a response that won’t change, stick to the 8 week rule.  Response date should be 4 weeks prior to the wedding. 

Hope you enjoyed these enlightening etiquette rules for invitations!  Happy Inviting!

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