I wanted to share a post that was close to my heart that folks don’t really know about Patrick and I. Most folks don’t know our story, why this is such a big deal that we are now pregnant, and why we are so excited about 2017 and the future of our life, our family, and our business.
In our three years of marriage and our 6 years of dating, we have been through a lot as a couple. Facebook makes our life look way more glamorous than it was or currently is. Let me tell you a story so go get a blanket and a cup of tea and some tissues.
I’m going to go back to 2009. You see, I went to an amazing university, graduated Bilingual, with two majors, and a fabulous business degree. With that came a debt to my name of over $140,000 of student loan debt by the time I was 24. $140,000 in debt!!! I thought I’d get the job I wanted after college, and start making THOUSANDS when I moved home. Well… I moved home, couldn’t get a job, and then got a job doing what I didn’t even go to school for, taking home less than $15,000 a year to live off of, pay for gas, clothing, Christmas, pay towards loans, save money, whatever…. Let’s just say… I didn’t pocket very much and Sallie Ma, Discover, and Citibank sure knew it. I was already in financial need and struggling to stay afloat.
I was convinced no one would willingly marry me with that magnitude of debt. I was starting in the negatives, not even at zero. I was an assistant teacher right out of college, unsure as to what I really wanted to do with huge dreams inside me. Within that year, I had loans sold, change, even defaulted. I was harassed by “loan sharks” weekly while I lived at home, and still never “got ahead.” Then I met Patrick. I didn’t want him to know anything about my situation. I just thought “a day at a time, we’ll see what happens.” But here’s the deal… be careful what you pray for and what you pray for in your future spouse. I didn’t marry into money, but I married a hard working, loving, and very smart man who knew what to do with money. And I’ll tell you right now single folks… marry someone smarter, more patient, and kinder than yourself. You need it. Period.
Patrick was amazing with money and even better at patience, endurance, and hope. As we dated, I didn’t want to share my burden of debt until he asked me straight up about a year in. I didn’t think he wouldn’t stick around when he knew the truth and what baggage I came with (financially and otherwise). Through tears I shared the burden I had been carrying and I invited him to leave and walk away that day. But he didn’t. From what I’ve been told, he went home and thought long and hard, but he knew what he was going to do. You see, Patrick fully understood the consequences of the burden and he know what sacrifices and choices that were to come with marrying me with that amount of debt. But he choose me anyway. I really don’t deserve the man I have, but that’s the Grace of God (that’s another blog post haha).
We talked many days and weeks about plans, what life would look like depending on our future choices, etc. He talked me through options and mapped it out and started the journey to financial freedom. The next step was to talk real life. We both knew kids were not an option for a while. My heart sunk. I wanted to be a young mom. I wanted to have a beautiful house out of college and a beautiful family too. Neither would be happening for years to come.
Fast forward through dating for 3 years and walking on the path to financial freedom, we get married in November 2013, 4 years after college, 3 years since our first real debt conversation. By this time we have saved, not spent, put money away, and crushed some loans. As newlyweds we moved in with my gracious in-laws to be rent free at first, to save and put money away and keep paying off loans. At this time I an shooting weddings on the side (like 2-4) and working for a marketing firm. 2 weeks after our wedding, we find out I have large cancer-like cysts in my chest. I start getting treatments and appointments. On top of that I lose my job 5-6 months into our marriage with our current debt on top us. Patrick and I knew we really wouldn’t be having kids anytime soon or buying a house. Thankfully the cysts were benign, but I had to be watched. Financially without a job, things would be tight unless the miraculous happened. So what do crazy people do… they launch businesses in their greatest need. And Patrick and I launched two of them! I went full-time into the wedding industry, and he went full-time into the sports world. We would own and run a baseball instruction business out of McLean VA because of Patrick’s pro baseball history, and we would own and launch full-time into our wedding photography business which is now called Living Radiant. We only had 6 weddings on the calendar. We were SCARED!! I mean scared!! We were scared out of our mind that we could possibly fail and even risk our marriage, our finances, our future. But this is where the story changes and the miraculous happens.
6 years after that first conversation where Patrick and I discussed our debt and life. Patrick and I can officially declare that we are DEBT FREE. All of my student loans, gone. I still can’t believe it. But then I do believe it, because it took 6 years… literally. It has taken sacrifice, it took commitment, and it took the trust of two people with the other person. (Ask Patrick how many times he got upset with me when I spent money we didn’t have. or used the wrong credit card for something… guys, the struggle is real). There were arguments, tears, doubt, guilt, blame and more. But that’s ’cause we are human. But it took more. It took taking responsibility, fighting to not compare your life to your friends, and keeping your eyes on the prize! We built two beautiful businesses with blood, sweat, tears, late nights, arguments, passion, joy, and more. We weren’t going to live like our friends did, we would not do “date nights out” but choose to do date nights in. We would work 24/7 not 9-5 like before. I mean we lived with our parents as newly weds. We wanted to be responsible adults and so we sought guidance for our financial burden. Our life was not glamorous by any means of the 1st world nation we live in.
Looking back now, launching businesses in our greatest time of need was the best decision we ever made besides marrying each other in 2013. Within our first year of our businesses launching, we already were making more than our jobs the previous year. Our businesses currently bring in 6 figures…. 6 FIGURE$$! Obviously we don’t bring that home, but seriously… this is not the life we thought we’d have 6 years ago. It brings me to my knees and tears to think this is where we’ve come. The journey to get to where we are now wasn’t easy. It was hard. Really hard. Like I said, there were lots of late nights, tears, prayers, and choices to endure. Patrick and I joined finances, decided we were going to make sacrifices. I can’t believe we actually are still married some days, because we went through A LOT in our 6 years of knowing each other. But here’s the deal… it was so worth it… and it’s still a process. Get this… we still live with my in-laws, we still have date nights in, we don’t have a house yet.
But the next things in life are going to be awesome. We don’t even know what’s coming. We just are believing for the best. We are now debt free. We now have money put away. We are able to start a family. I’m pregnant, and the cysts on my chests are minimal. We will have a home within the year. I cannot even fathom it some days. But this is where I know our God is good and we can’t take all the credit… God is faithful. We are pregnant at 30. We are debt free at 30. 30 has been an amazing year. 2017 is going to be even better as we kickoff the best of our lives as we step into the place of being parents and business owners.
This is why we didn’t get pregnant before, and this is why we aren’t waiting any longer. We hope you enjoyed our story.
+ COMMENTS
add a comment